That said, the first thing to do would This is a big decision, so I highly recommend reaching out to us for one on one coaching so that we can ask you targetted questions, analyze your situation, and create a custom action plan. He has told me he does not feel in love with me. I know this will affect my children, family and friends but everyday I think about the other girl. I cant figure out why I’m doing this to my marriage- and to my coworker’s marriage. Im just missing a connection, long talks, deep conversations, good sex, talking about problems, etc. You are a model couple. You can't be happily married and deeply in love with someone else. I ended up having an affair with the man I met at work, but in the end, he left to go back to his wife. We shared our feelings of late a year ago what we have been feeling and missing for more than a decade now. Surely someone has bewitched you. I hate myself for wanting to be with someone else as well as my husband. Im together with my husband for 9 years and we are married for 1 year. What do I do? You can almost read each other’s mind when it comes to doing something. I don’t think he’s ever cheated because I get the vibe that he feels like he can get away with whatever since has never cheats. I need help. We do not sleep together anymore for years now. All that being said, I don’t know what to do with the emotions that I have bottled up for 50 years and that are now alive and well along with all the what if’s. As I explained, it is very easy to let the flame sizzle out by not maintaining the love between you. Especially since it feels like apart from my husband’s financial assistance, he doesn’t put in any effort into our marriage. Even when she returned to the familiar comfort of her home she could not help thinking about him. After a year of my marriage I realized that it was always my high school friend I was in love with and I still love him till the present day, its the same for him as well. Two years ago he got in trouble and needed deperately my help. I am not expecting answers to all that, This type of thing does not happen out of the blue. There are many factors at play here, so please don’t hesitate to reach out to us for one on one coaching so that we can ask you specific questions and define a custom action plan for you. You have to take a step back and really think about the long-term effects on every person involved in the situation. How can I react? I have let my husband know that I am willing to work on the marriage he seemed to be on the fence but due to our long distance relationship and him still being encouraged with his other relationship it’s hard to try and fight for my marriage. Im worried we’ve grown too much apart.. and I really tried talking to him about it. Wishing you the best! You have to TRY to save your marriage because trust me, it is not going to be saved by accident. We wish you the best of luck! Also to add, i never had any abusive relation with my wife, we still have very good time, laugh and care for each other, just that i have lost interest in physical relation with her. A handwritten letter is always a good way to organize your thoughts and present what you need to say in a calm and collected way. I encourage you to check out the product we have created specifically for this situation, as it will help you to lay out the proper foundation. During our first meeting, Brian confessed that he was in love with Katie, but he didn’t want to lose his marriage. I told him, the respect is there, but the love has long been gone. Hi I’m so glad I found your site In order to keep the peace I had to lie and say that I would stick around and I sent him videos to encourage him to get help and see someone for therapy. We have actually created a program that is designed to help people decide whether they want to keep trying to salvage a marriage or move on, and it offers tips and tools to go through with your decision with ease and peace of mind. The truth is that you might be in love with someone else… but that might not mean that you’re destined to be with that guy. From that point on, you take your distance and focus on your relationship. You feel confused, you feel betrayed by your heart. It is much more profitable to come from a place of compassion and understanding than criticism. You are currently in an abusive relationship and there is help available. He even confessed of trailing me on Facebook and downloading every pictures of me. The communication part was more difficult, because how do you explain something like that to someone who doesnt like communicating? heart of hearts that you’re not up for addressing and solving these issues, then the I cheated on my spouse almost 2 years ago. Just like the ebb and flow of tides. – How will this affect the lives of the people that matter to me in my life, like my children? Reading your story made me realize men hide their feelings. Hi Em, I understand that this is a tricky situation. However, we’re Christians and so it feels like we have to try. continuing like you probably are now “married but in love with someone else.”) Decide to end your marriage to be … And worst, they fail to appreciate you. And this one really helped. And one can say ‘i tried’. I know that it is a very tough spot to be in, but it seems that you already know what you want to do. Im scared of what my family will react, my family includes our children, my brother and sister and the rest of my mom’s brothers and sisters. It is never too late to achieve your dreams. I’m trying to look for answers I recently split with my boyfriend of 2 years got back together he proposed to me even though I told him to wait until we are back on track I love him but I’m not in love with him I have strong feelings for someone I work with who has also told me he loves me and I’m torn don’t know what too do I’m no longer the same person I was two years ago with my boyfriend and that the person I work with makes me feel loved and is more like me and we have more in common totally confused. Hi John, I am sorry to hear that you are in a tough situation. Interestingly enough, it often happens inadvertently. I have fallen for this guy so much in the few months since we got together. What if you were in love with someone before your husband but the timing was wrong…. But.. he is more traditional in bed. After I married my wife the first strange thing was that I have no other choice, so at any situation I was thinking what could be the situation if I had been married with another one among my choices. This article will provide you with tools for analyzing your feelings and getting a better idea of what you truly want, and then I will explain some tools to help you reach your goal and be truly happy in love. Yes, I do my duty as a wife, how painful though especially when I see the same hurts he does just by being himself, surfacing daily. One of the keys for maintaining the bond between you and your significant other is showing them that you are genuinely interested in them. What can I or should I do? You have to be able to think about also what makes you happy. Subject: Re:Happily Married but also love someone else Anonymous The love of my life (in my mind) was a relationship that started, stopped, and restarted a number of times, but ultimately distance ended it completely. So now I am married but in love with someone else and I really don’t know what to do. A feeling of constant guilt is one of the worst consequences of such an act. When you got married to your husband or your wife, you thought that you were in it for the long haul and that the love that existed between you would never be threatened. Our relationship started fifteen years ago with a friendship and after we lost contact for a few years we met again and started a loose romance from which she got pregnant with our first child. Has it ever occurred to you that instead of looking at all that you have lost you can choose to be grateful for all that you’ve received? Of course Islam does not limit me (a man) to one wife but I see this is the way Satan influences the human kind. It’s true love grows and love fades so it’s we to try to keep it growing . between these two men would be to analyze your marriage and ask yourself what the Love is such a fascinating emotion. It’s my downfall to try to take care of everyone and make sure everyone is happy. Nevertheless, the steps to take are the same. When she went for her college reunion she met one of her former lovers and sparks began to fly. By the way, if you haven’t seen that video, you can watch it above. So I’ve kept all this in. Interestingly enough, most people say YES, they would choose falling back in love with their spouse after an affair! If you want to save your marriage, then it must be an active choice you make every single day. Remember, there are many ways to bring back the excitement in your marriage and make your husband fall head over heels in love with you again. I love my husband and have no intention of ever being with anyone else, ever. Been married for over 20 years and now I made an emotional connection with a guy from 25 years ago. So now I’m stuck and don’t know what to do. However, when it came, it captured their heart. We were best friends, lovers, the perfect match. I have been married for 4 years now with 2kids. Once things got extremely out of hand he decided he didn’t want anything to do with me or our child. He’s 62 years of age and has had emotional affairs, Recently, he has fallen in love with a psychotherapist from England. But during the time of coronavirus my close friend and I have spent a lot more time together. So when Im feeling bad I often feel alone, I can’t really talk about it with him. We don’t have children yet, but we want to. There were no major problems with my marriage and between us we have 5 children and 10 grandchildren that are my greatest joy. I know nothing about this woman..not her name how she looks..nothing…and there is no way I would ever have any sort of relationship with her because she knew he was married and still pursued him and broke my family apart. Thanks for helping out, excellent information. We get along really well together. It’s easy to say CUT them OFF but it’s actually very tough to do if they are all you can think about for the moment. He said that he he kisses my picture every night before going to bed all these years. Though we’ve both promised not to destroy our marriages but we simply cannot stop loving each. Even though I know that’s wrong to feel crushed. Once again, it’s all about seeking clarity! Hi Candice, thanks for your message! I also fell in love with someone who I worked with for a short time; I literally fell in love with him the first time I met him. Since marriage I never loved my husband. Here’s a quick summary of part one. Sure, we all have our own characteristics and personalities, but we are influenced by them; not controlled by them. All of these elements pile up on top of us and make it feel impossible to make a decision. Whatever may be the reason, sooner or later love always finds a way to bring you and your partner closer. She did confess to Shantanu that she had deep feelings for him and laughingly declared that she would spare him, as she did not want to cause any malicious breakup. And so we did. I have been happily married for 21 years. I have wanted to leave my husband many times over the years and for different reasons never have. That way we can ask you specific questions that will help us to determine the right plan of action. Because the emotions involved in the situation are so complicated, she felt completely paralyzed. So, let us explore the reasons why married men fall in love with other woman. My husband and I have been married 17 years and I feel that I don’t deserve him. Im also very bad at explaining the problems I experience. However in their situation yes like the begining of every relationship its the honeymoon time but their relationship is so real that the honeymoon period lasted about two months they talk about everything with each other thats bothering them about their relationship wether it would hurt or not. Subject: Re:Happily Married but also love someone else. Last week, she decided to leave me, only to already regret it after one night we spent in separate bedrooms and ask for a little more time An easy way to guard against this or restore the bond between you is to learn to identify and speak your spouse’s love language. A woman happily married for over 10 years began to feel resentful towards her husband because she was feeling unaccomplished in life. Or maybe you are sailing in an intoxicated state of mind and refuse to let go of the seductiveness it brings. I don’t want to hurt my husband and children who are innocent of my teenage love. A married man can, but not if he is happy. Though there are many reasons that would make you want to stay, if you want things to change, you will have to push him away and focus the wellbeing of yourself and your family. I highly encourage you to spend as much time with your parents and surround yourself with people that love and support you as you begin to exit this relationship. His work requires him to be out of the country and home once a year for like a month or 2, then he leaves us again. If you really love someone and they love you too, and both of you see a future together, move on. I thought I was happily married but not sure now as DH and I are having a bit of tough time and it makes me think well surely if I was so happily married I wouldn't even look at another man. Maybe it's lust, habit or just life that makes you think you can love two people. Follow us at: Email : [email protected] There are so many questions that arise when you love someone else, but my goal is to help you zero in on the path that would ensure the most well-being in your life. I have been married for 17 year and my wife is a lovely lady. My husband and I have full custody but allow him to see baby 1 time a week. All Rights Reserved. Or a close crossover? Married to someone I despise and am disgusted by and can never be happy around my own children. I couldn’t take it anymore and one night me and this other girl left a bar together and ripped the bandaid off. Though you might be feeling, “I’m so in love with you” when you think about your over, you must also think about the effect it will have on your spouse and any children you may have. I want this co-worker’s attention and I get it, so I feel guilty. What if you choose to cut ties with the person you fell in love with and return to your spouse – could you repair the damage? I have been engaging in sexting with a childhood boyfriend that I got back in contact with after more than 20 years of not talking. I’m married with kids and recently I have been communicating with my ex boyfriend whom I cheated on with my husband. Unhappy and lonely, I tried to be content and happy whatever differences in opinions were and what ever much he hurt me I learned to let it go almost instantly. Marriage is an important commitment. They’re just our psychological responses to the events that are taking place around us. It doesn’t have to be grandiose gestures – it can be simple actions that show them how much you care and that they’re on your mind. In comes the perfect house with a white picket fence, a pet or two and cute kids, not necessarily in that order. I’ve spoken to my wife about our dwindling relationship and she has certainly made more of an effort recently- however I’m struggling to find a reconnection to my wife. Even the most devoted married man or woman will get blindsided by a bout of white-hot lust that isn't directed at his or her spouse every once and a while. Some part of you remains stuck in the good old days of the past. thoughts??? He shut me off and out at once: I am married and wife of his client. My SO claims I depend on him to much and he don’t see me ever letting that go. I knew I was not happy in my marriage; that there were things missing, and that I was very, very lonely and had been for a long time. This is what it puts them in a very confusing situation, and perhaps this is exactly what you are dealing with today. I reconnected with an old friend and I have fallen in love with him. You cannot have them both if you want to be happy and cultivate a meaningful, long term relationship. Or will she regret it? I am attached to a person i can’t have (coz she is also married) and i am not left with any emotions for a person i have. Every single thing that we do in life has both long-term and short-term consequences. Some have chosen their lover and have been very happy. If that is the case, then it will be easier for you to find But you can certainly forgive yourself. Thank you so much for your advice. Hi Eva, thank you for taking the time to share your story. I dont let him touch me. If you are in love with someone other than your husband then you do not love your husband. Please don’t hesitate to reach out to us for one on one coaching by clicking here. He didn’t push me or force me into anything and it felt so Surreal that I questioned everything. Hi Ro, thank you for sharing your story. 1. This man sounds great, and he will understand that you will need some time on your own. Unfortunately, the relationship with your spouse has become toxic. I have nightmares constantly if someone taking advantage of me and I’m not able to move. I spoke to him this week and it seems neither hom or the woman involved have thought about how this would affect our now broken family and also their own relationship. Make time for romance, try out new activities together, and step outside of your comfort zones, together. Recently by complete accident I rekindled a relationship with someone I used to know – via skype chat – and we begun talking in the phone too. I’ve been married for 8 years. Hi JJ, thank you for sharing your story. It doesn’t have to necessarily mean that you only have romantical thoughts about this special someone. I dont know what to do anymore. And letting him have sex with me and I hate every thing about it. He is supposed to make his final decision on Sat and Im terrified he will make the wrong choice and loose everything. So, what would your ideal marriage look like? It has highlighted a lot more of the issues in my marriage. But i fell in love with this guy. To work with us, just click here. Your level of understanding and compatibility is impeccable. I’m emotionally and physically attracted to.him and I work closely with him every day. Husband’s parents live with us and have created huge problems between us. I didn’t realize that my marriage had become predictable and monotonous until Chris started to surprise me and make me feel things that I hadn’t felt in a really long time. So we decided not to leave our partners for the sake of our children. His father just passed away and he is broken. We were young, and treated each other badly, but always came back together and loved harder. I paid all the bills, I did all the daycare, I clean, I cook, my wife does girl weekends atleast 3x a year and honestly I never felt like my wife was that in to me. they are fully involved with each other. I know I’m a bit kinky so I tried to suggest soft things. For some of you, you might be feeling like you are in love with two people at the same time, and others of you might feel that you don’t feel anything for your spouse anymore. I don’t even know what I want in my life to make me happy. If only you had been strong enough to stand up for your personal interests, you wouldn’t have ended up in this marriage. The answer to THIS question can be the answer to the question of what to do when you’ve fallen in love with someone else. I love this man so much with all my soul. In this situation, you’re going to need to focus on the positives in your relationship. A bit uncomfortable since this is my first time seeking help on a forum. What should I do? Sometimes this happens because people get lazy and too comfortable in the relationship, but other times it happens because things have been going downhill in the relationship for quite some time. The sector hopes for more passionate writers such as you who are not afraid to mention how they believe. But he wants me to admit to the hubby that i am with him. So that is why it is important to think about the long-term consequences, or in other words, what happens later on down the road. As I was saying above, in the majority of cases when a person is falling for someone outside of their marriage, it is because something was lacking in the marriage. I have been sleeping with my husband for months and I just desire my ex boyfriend. The more you can associate your marriage with the feelings of excitement, the less attracted you will be to your childhood boyfriend. Married But In Love With Someone Else. My best college friend passed away tragically and I passed the information on to the third member of our close group who I have not been in touch with for 50 years. I will tell you right off the bat that I cannot make this decision for you. All the time follow your heart. © 2019 Happily Committed, LLC. That said, if you truly want this marriage to survive and you think, “I am in love with you” or “I truly want to fall back in love with you” when you look at your spouse, then I want you to know that there are plenty of things that you can do to restore the bond between you. About a year ago, Brian reached out to me saying his marriage was in trouble, and not because his wife, Alexandra, didn’t want to be with him, but because he wanted to be with his co-worker, Katie. I stopped seeing that person for now, but our relationship troubles aren’t fixed. So, before you tear your hair out, suffer from insomnia or ruin those beautiful pages of your diary, ask yourself two very simple questions. This drives me crazy! You were 25. Wishing you all the very best! Although i don’t know if it will help my situation much. How were you feeling in your marriage before this other person came along? About a year ago I left on business and it was about 11 months long. ... Happily married but falling in love with another man. He threatened suicide so that I would just give him what he wants. It doesn't matter if you have been married to someone for less than a year or twenty years; when cupid's arrow hits, there is no telling what the future will hold. And now that you have found that someone, you are not sure what you should do. Please don’t hesitate to reach out to us for one on one coaching if you would like our help. Hi Madhuri, please don’t hesitate to reach out for coaching if you’d like one on one help! I’ve been the happiest woman doing this until recently. I was calling him my soul mate until I read this article. If things start to feel boring and lackluster, it becomes easy to crave outside attention. I’m confused about this whole thing. My therapist suggested couples therapy but he doesn’t want that. My wife is a very loving and caring woman but she is a little older than me so she is stuck her ways, and now that we’ve been together so long I’ve been feeling like she is just to comfortable to the point where I feel like I’m just there. I have just stuck it out for the kids. I have been feeling so neglected in my marriage, and I have spoken with my husband on multiple occasions about it, where he voices to try and do better but nothing changes. Many of us face challenges in life, and these challenges sometimes make us emotionally vulnerable. Are you nuts to have feelings for someone else while married, you ask your self zillions of questions and destroy your mental peace? I love my husband very much but I’m still attracted to my co-worker, 6 Reasons Why Women Have Extramarital Affairs In India. So talk about your husband or wife’s interests with them. You were 25, what was the hurry? By working with you one on one, we can define an action plan that is tialormade for your circumstance. Wishing you all the best, Wow it’s the best to work out things with your husband because the most affected will be the children in case of a separation and no grantee that that new love will not fade anyway . She didn’t know what decision to take in order to move forward, which option to choose, and how do feel confident in her approach. Watching her husband thrive in a professional career while her days were filled with household and parenting chores made her feel extreme dissatisfaction. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me, so why is it that this guy stirs me up so much sexually. Yet I can’t divorce my husband due to social stigma and potential effect on the children for not being with their biological dad. It’s been 12 years since the last time I’ve dated this guy and I didn’t think anything would happen considering he is married and has a daughter. Instead of thinking of all night you could not be out partying, think about the beautiful family you have raised together. Hi there, you will have to make a choice to focus on one relationship. I have suggested couples therapy but her answer is for me to try it first. After 23yrs apart he’s now been in touch telling how he has been looking for me all these years and why i did not tell him if the pregnancy. He spends more time on his phone and computer than with us. be to take a step back and really analyze what you want. So I learned who I am, I studied, I got a good career, I’m very interested in psychology and love to talk and philosophize. This way your SO will see that he’s on your mind as your go-to, and you can maintain a friendship with your ex-husband. Truth be told, when you are focused on short-term consequences, you often wind up making decisions that might not be the best for you. We are happy but I still have those feelings for the other person. Thanks for the post and participation. com for he’s a GOD on earth. My family, friends, family in law and husband would be devastated if Im going for a divorce. And it made me feel worse because I felt that I did the same infidelity that my spouse did to me about 7years ago. Because the fruit of love came from a tree outside the restrictive boundary walls of marriage. I can also recommend a program we have created to help people move on from an unhappy marriage with grace and peace of mind. The complexities of love can feel very paralyzing, especially when multiple people are involved, so I understand that you feel like you don’t know which direction to take. To work with us, just click here! Which makes this all the more difficult. And if you are sure that this is what it is, you may find a way forward. Hi Shauna, the issue is that your husband is taking you for granted, and the more he’s allowed to get away with, the more he will continue to do so. She has a strong bond and relationship with my mom where as my wife doesn’t but my mom likes her though. You can never force it, but once it arrives and settles in, you need to actively preserve it if you don’t want it to go anywhere. It’s helpful to remember that emotions themselves and neither good nor bad. The dilemma I am 40, gay and happily married. I don’t know what to do anymore. I have been married for 16 years. Was it because of your parents’ decision or the fear of being lonely? That opened up conversation that lead to an affair. He changed my perspective on everything. If you choose to pursue a relationship with the person you’ve been having an affair with, how is that going to affect their life positively and how is that going to affect their life negatively?